I just got back from the DMV, and the necessary retail therapy that was necessary to lower my blood pressure after the experience that put me into such a fit of rage that I came dangerously close to the text book definition of assault on the DMV dude and his supervisor, whom I had demanded to see. I promised that the experience would be blog-worthy, and in that regard the DMV delivered.
Well, you will recall from my last post that I had a little matter of a lapsed insurance policy to resolve. The truth is, I had TWO insurance lapses: One thanks to mon pere, and one due to the fact that I moved to Boston after I graduated from law school and had to get new car registration and new insurance (my old insurance company did not underwrite in Massachusetts). I didn't even think that the Boston issue was an issue because I have proof that my car was insured in Boston so there technically was no lapse, just a change in registration and coverage. So, I took my cash to cover dear dad's mistake, all of my necessary paperwork from Boston, and happily drove to the shadiest DMV ever. I again waited (this time I brought PD James to read as well as Scrabble uploaded onto my i-pod -- I was ready for the long haul) for an interminably long time. Once my number was called, I gleefully trotted to the desk, papers in hand, ready to ask for my animal friendly license plate.
When DMV dude re-informed me of my two insurance lapses, I told him:
"Thanks, I already am aware of those. I will have to eat the cost on the first lapse, but I have proof of insurance in Boston for the other one." I promptly handed him the proper proof of insurance from Commerce Insurance Company in Boston.
He looked at it and said: "We don't accept this company. Were you registered in Massachusetts at the time?"
Me: "Yes. I already had this discussion with another DMV person the last time I was here and waited two hours."
DMV dude: "Well, you're going to have to show proof of registration in Massachusetts in order to avoid being charged this lapse in insurance."
Me, blood boiling: "It's not a lapse in insurance! I moved to Boston to practice LAW, after graduating from TULANE LAW SCHOOL. Geico doesn't underwrite in Massachusetts, so I had to get new insurance."
DMV dude: "Well, we don't accept this insurance. We need to see that the vehicle was registered in Massachusetts."
Me: "Can you explain to me why the woman with whom I spoke last time did not give me this information? Because I would like to have a discussion with your supervisor about properly training you people to advise drivers to bring ALL of the necessary documentation, so they don't have to come back 45 times and live through this nonsense. Don't you agree that would be more effecient?"
DMV dude: "Ma'am, I can't give you that information but --"
Me: "WHAT? You can't make an intelligent judgment as to why it would be more efficient for the woman to have told me to bring my Massachusetts registration rather than me waiting for the second time, having this discussion with you, and having to come back a third time? You can't see why this is inefficient? I want to see your supervisor immediately!!!"
The supervisor comes over. I tell her my story. I tell her that the woman with whom I had previously spoken had told me that all I needed was "proof of insurance from Massachusetts." She knew I changed registration. She knew I had moved. She told me only to bring proof of insurance.
Supervisor: "I understand your frustration, ma'am. Unfortunately there's no way for us to have known that you were going to bring proof of insurance from a company we don't accept."
Me: "WHAT?! But I was in no position to know that you had designated insurance companies that you do and don't accept -- you're the only ones who know that!! Why can't you tell people, 'if you were insured by a company we don't recognize, you'll have to show us proof of registration in addition to proof of insurancee' ? Can you see why that would make more sense? Or better yet, have your policies on your website."
Supervisor: "Well, there are just so many different possible scenarios, there's just no way for us to --"
Me: "YOU PEOPLE ARE UNBELIEVABLE. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE DOING. YOU HAVE TAKEN WHAT SHOULD BE A VERY EASY SITUATION AND MADE IT AS DIFFICULT AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE."
DMV dude then proceeded to hand me a piece of paper showing what I will have to pay the next time I spend the day at the DMV if I actually, some day, want to get a Louisiana license: $450.
I left immediately. Having $250 in cash in my pocket, and having not used it to pay my fine and get my animal friendly license plate, there was only one place that $$ was destined to end up and you know exactly where that was.
I need a martini!
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